OrbyGuides
How to talk about fantasies with your partner
An Orby guide · November 1, 2026
Most people have fantasies they’ve never said out loud. Sharing them can bring partners closer, as long as it feels safe to say anything, including no.
Choose the moment
- Somewhere calm, with time, not in the middle of an argument or right before sex.
- Start with curiosity: “Is there something you’ve wondered about but never asked?”
- Go first if you’d like, and keep it light. Nothing said is a promise.
Make your lists, separately
Each of you writes what you love, what’s a maybe and what’s not for you. Then compare, starting with what you both marked yes. Nobody has to explain a no.
A fantasy isn’t a plan
Some fantasies are lovely to talk about and never meant to happen. Others become something you try, slowly. Both are fine, and you can move between them.
Shapes some couples explore
Every couple is different. Some are curious about inviting a third person, meeting another couple, one partner seeing someone else with the other’s full knowledge and blessing, or simply flirting with others. Talking about it is a first step, never an obligation.
After you talk
- Check in the next day: how did it feel to share?
- If something stirred jealousy or worry, say so. It’s information, not failure.
- Come back to your lists every few months. People change.
How Orby helps
On Orby your lights say what you love, what’s a maybe and what’s not for you, before anyone has to ask. In games like Yes · No · Maybe you each answer privately, and only what you both said yes to is revealed: a no is never shown. Inviting a third · How to open a relationship.
