OrbyGuides
ENM, polyamory and open relationships: what’s the difference?
An Orby guide · November 1, 2026
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM, also called consensual non-monogamy) is the umbrella: any way of having more than one romantic or sexual relationship where everyone involved knows and agrees. That’s what sets it apart from cheating: nobody is deceived.
The most common shapes
- Polyamory: more than one loving relationship at a time, with everyone’s knowledge. The focus is on the relationships, not only on sex.
- Open relationship: a couple stays the centre and agrees each person can have connections outside it, sometimes with rules.
- Swinging: couples who share experiences with other people or couples, often together and at lifestyle events.
- Relationship anarchy: no ranking and no labels by default; each relationship is shaped by what the people in it agree.
- Solo polyamory: people with several relationships who live and decide as singles, without a primary partner.
Words you’ll hear
- Metamour: your partner’s partner.
- Polycule: the network of people linked by their relationships.
- Kitchen table: everyone knows each other and could share a table. Parallel: each relationship runs on its own.
- Hierarchical: one relationship has more say in decisions. Non-hierarchical: none outranks the others.
- Compersion: feeling glad that your partner is happy with someone else.
- NRE (new relationship energy): the rush at the start of something new, worth keeping in mind.
What they all share
Talking openly, real consent, and checking in over time. No shape is better than another: the right one is the one that works for the people living it, and it can change.
Where Orby fits
Orby is built for all of these: single, coupled or in a polycule. Link your partners and you show as one card; each person says yes for themselves, privately, and a no is never shown. Every member is ID-verified. A consent-first guide to inviting a third · Polyamory and ENM in Toronto.
